Today I was looking over the previous entries of this blog, realizing I am once again at square one. The very first entry sounds exactly the same as the way I am feeling now. Let me put it into perspective…
Once again, I have let the lords of chaos rule my life. Trying to pick up the pieces is never easy, but when the motivation isn’t there, it’s even worse. I live in shambles. My beautiful new system of organization has totally gone through the ringer over the past several months. It’s why I stopped writing; the passion slowly crumbled and I was hiding from it. I can only look around and shake my head in disgust: my car, my surroundings, my life…even messier than when I started this project.
Today I’m making a new commitment to myself because I have to: time to take control again. No more letting the extra pounds come…or allowing the anarchy to take over in my head. No more sitting here letting the chaos reign. No more laying around waiting for something to happen. As my wise friend says, you should never wait for your ship to come in…get your ass out in the water and swim to meet it, bitch.
So I’ll begin as every person in recovery does….slowly but surely. It’s true that Rome wasn’t built in a day, but no one sat around waiting for it to be built, either….
